Title: Mummy Fever (Mission Accomplished)
Author: Charlotte Pearson
It was the best of times … It was the worst of times ... 'Mummy Fever: Mission Accomplished' is a determinedly honest blow-by-blow account of young motherhood that will remind you why you vowed never to have a second child, and why you probably broke that vow two years later. Discover how to open a door gracefully to a perfect stranger half-naked and covered head-to-toe in ... well, never mind, how to grow eight arms, how to fend off the hapless and intrusive advice of your rampaging mother-in-law, how to run a marathon only a few months after you have given birth, and how to deal with an inattentive husband who isn't planning on changing his life at all. But, above all, remind yourself that young motherhood is a time of enchantment, despite the very real challenges, and a love story, at least towards the children.
Pregnancy and motherhood is one of the hardest things that anyone ever has to go to, and no one ever tells you the worst parts of it. This book gives you an insight into some of these, in a diary format written by the mother figure. It’s an easy read that delivers the highlights and lowlights of emotions that I’m sure every new mum has been through, which made me laugh on many occasions. I loved reading it, seeing how someone else felt about it all, and she really hit the nail on the head at times. I’m sure that both males and females, whether they are parents or not, will appreciate some of the diary entries, and could easily relate to the characters.
Charlotte Pearson was born in Leicester in 1979 and lived with her parents, both teachers and younger brother, Sam. After completing her studies at Lutterworth Grammar School, in 1998 she was accepted to Keele University to study Sociology, Applied Social Studies and later completing a masters in International Relations. She also spent time at the University of Kyoto, Japan. Charlotte now lives in North Wales with her partner and three children.
Octopus Required: Apply Within
Octopuses are characterized by their eight arms, usually bearing suction cups. Hmmm, how useful that would be.
This morning Adam left early for work. I really needed to get into the shower, so I got set up with everything. I turned the television on in the bedroom, sat Poppy in the middle of the bed to watch it, and put Ben in his cushion seat in the doorway of the shower room so I could see him.
I crossed my fingers and got in.
Two minutes in I heard a bang. Ben was fine, so what on earth was Poppy up to, I wondered.
I called to her. No reply.
I quickly washed the soap off and got out. Ben started to cry, and as I looked into the bedroom, Poppy was systematically pulling all the drawers out and emptying the contents onto the floor.
I had my own issues. I had blood leaking down between my legs and milk spraying out of both boobs, and both my breast pads and sanitary towels were nowhere to be seen.
Then I saw them - Poppy had stuck them to the wall.
Later I was breastfeeding Ben and trying to encourage Poppy to use the potty. Ben was clamped onto my boob, but Poppy had got into a mess, so I was also trying to change her. Instead of sitting on the potty she had hidden in the corner of the room and created a puddle.
I also had dinner cooking, and the washing machine and dryer on. Then someone rang me about a work problem, and as I was trying to sort that out, there was a knock at the door and I had to sign for a parcel.
Surprisingly all these things were achieved and the only giveaway was to the parcel delivery man who saw me with a baby on my boob, a naked toddler at my side and the phone to my ear. He did say dinner smelt nice, though.
If I could choose another persona it would have to be that of an octopus.
A mirror image
After meeting my friend I decided I would not waste the two hours it took me to get out of the house, combined with the thirty-five minute drive and expensive car park, and I would take the opportunity to grab a few things I needed from the shops at the same time.
In my head I knew this was another mistake, just like the coffee shop. Someone was bound to need a nappy change, or the toilet, or a feed, or SOMETHING, but I was not going to be defeated!
While in one of the big department stores, I spotted a wild-eyed woman with uncombed hair, something down her top and a mismatched outfit, looking slightly deranged as she walked towards me with her pram.
Then I realized I was about to walk into a full-length mirror.